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Mt. Olympus?

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[08 Jul 2005|10:43am]

mistergrinch
Come join fuckyoucrew, impress yr frenz, if you got any.
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[06 Oct 2004|08:20pm]

schupo
Yo I gotta poop real bad brb
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[31 Aug 2004|10:38am]

pretty_geek
[ mood | crazy ]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5843441/

I know when I by candy I want it to have a 9/11 toy.

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[25 Jul 2004|08:32pm]

enickmatic


If you dug the bizarre and at times offensive antics of gods_of_lj, you should stop on by the conglomerate of the best of the best livejournals out there. You don't have to apply to be a member-- you can just lurk around and comment like the smartasses I know you all are.
[1]  post comment

[29 Jun 2004|08:14pm]

enickmatic
Guys, I think it's time we put this community to rest.
[8]  post comment

[29 Jun 2004|05:54pm]

enickmatic
A rare candid picture of bobbola home from delivering pizzas:



Moral of story: only furries use Macs.
[5]  post comment

[27 Jun 2004|09:39am]

blubear
Does anyone know what happened to Nick?
[3]  post comment

[23 Jun 2004|04:53pm]

plaidpuke
yeah...i saw this one coming...

Mary-Kate Olsen checked into treatment facility for eating disorderCollapse )
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Road kills [21 Jun 2004|01:21am]

blubear
Ever been caught in one of those precarious sorts of situations where you were stuck with the choice of either running over an old guy or running over his grandson walking five feet in front of him in the crosswalk?

I love fuckin' Balboa Island CA.
[2]  post comment

Supersize Yourself. [19 Jun 2004|04:26pm]

captainhaddock
With all of the recent talk about the Atkins diet (and whether or not all those who partake in it will die of health problems and/or break all of their bones), as well as the release of the fast-food-damning movie Supersize Me, the morbidly obese and the plain ol' fat have been very prominent topics of discussion recently. These bulbous blobs have spread themselves upon on the vernacular of our society like butter on one of their greasy dinner-rolls, and it does appear that this trend in both discussion and weight distribution are not short-lived fatsfads but, rather, the wave of the future.

Recent surveys have concluded not only that Alabama, Kentucky, and Michigan are the fattest states, but also that the general weight of this country is skyrocketing, and that the rest of the world (sans Ethiopia and Bangladesh, the last bastions of the "natural" negative three waist line) is to follow. Australia already offers fat-reduction programs to get rid of their obesity problem, but America has yet to implement governmental aid in the fight against its population's fat.

Am I the only one that this information scares?

Well apparently I am. That or I am the most ingenious, as I do believe that I have solved the nation's weight epidemic once and for all. I've concocted a plan so perfect, so flawless and god-like, that I'm quite sure Mother Nature and Mr. Natural Selection could not have done a better job themselves. In fact, I'm sure of that-- because if they were so great, we wouldn't have videos of fat people eating turkey in the first place, now would we?

That's right, my revolutionary new dietary alternative will not only guarantee complete elimination of your fat, but it will also work to end world hunger. Because that's in the best interest of Jesus, from what I hear. Or something. I don't see why Jesus doesn't just whip up a few million loaves of bread for the entire third world, but hey, I don't understand a lot of theology.

"But Nick, what ever could your idea be? Why are you stalling so much? I'm fat and impatient and suffering from the meat sweats!"

Yea, yea, I can hear it all now, so I'll share with you my idea right now. Ladies and gentlemen, teenagers of all breeds and the few e-geezers on my friends' page, behold the one of a kind and brand-spankin'-new...


"Burn The Fat Away" Program




I actually put effort into the manipulation of this picture,
as one can clearly see when they compare it to the original


For the convenience of you readers, I've broken up my plan into three demographics based upon age so that you can jump right to your own category and see how I'd deal with said group's obesity. I've done this also because I know how impatient a lot of you fat people are when it nears dinner time. And I've also done this because I know how much everybody (particularly VH1) loves countdowns and lists.

1. Fat Children (Birth - Age 18) Nobody likes fat kids. Plain and simple. Nobody. (Except Donkey Lips). If you say you do, it's probably because a.) you, yourself, are a fat kid or b.) your only friends are fat kids, in which case you're a loser. But simply hating fat kids is not enough, as that does very little in terms of lessening their girth. In fact, it may even expand their waistlines unintentionally as our constant ridicule could goad many of the gluttonous gargantuans into eating even more-- to fill that void that praise would normally occupy in us skinny, normal, attractive people.

What I propose is the systematic elimination of fat kids by bribing them with Twinkiesforcing them to run on treadmills all the time. And I do mean all the time. Just attach the pudgy lumpkins to large hamster wheels (made out of steel so that they don't bend underneath their immense weight) which will generate kinetic energy. (What this energy will be used for will be explained momentarily.)

P.S. LOOK AT HOW FAT THIS GIRL IS.


2. Fat Adults (Age 19 - Age 55) This group is easily the largest (HA! IF I WERE A COMPUTER THAT'D BE A MALPUNCTION!) group of fat people. Not only are they the most unpleasant to look at, but they're also very, very useless. Unless of course you are turned on by scantily-clad fat people, in which case this is your favorite group (unless you're turned on by underage fat people, in which case I'd like you to remove yourself from my friends' page). Anyway, what I suggest is using the huge levels of energy generate from the tremendous-toddler-treadmills to power gigantic flame throwers, with which we could burn all of the fat people (FOR FUN)

If Smokey the Bear's taught me one thing, it's that fire is capable of wiping out lots and lots of shit. So why not put that to use, I ask? Why not just eat away the nation's weight epidemic by blow torching the whole thing en masse? I can't think of any reason not to.

Additionally, this "burned-fat-byproduct" could be used as an alternative fuel source for our automobiles! In which case we'd no longer be dependent upon the Middle East for oil, and in which case we'd be able to eliminate our nation's weight problem IN ONE FATFELL SWOOP! Think of filling your SUV with liquid fat instead of petroleum, whilst knowing that your money is not going to fund international terrorism but, instead, to beautifying the nation! It would be a beautiful day, indeed.

P.S. LOOK AT THIS WOMAN CLAP WITHOUT USING HER HANDS!
(Must have Windows Media Player)


3. Fat Old People (Age 56 - Strom ThurmondDeath) Nothing good can come of this group, so they'd just be shot on sight. That's it. Maybe their wrinkly, fat bodies could be made into soap or something. Or nice decoration pieces for your front yard.

And in case you didn't absorb all of that, I've broken it down into a series of pictures for you...Collapse )

PROBLEM SOLVED. FIN.
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Scenesters and Saints [16 Jun 2004|07:15pm]

pdanielson
Scenesters are lame. They hate all bands that have "sold out" because more than 5 people have heard of them. They try to act disaffected by absolultely everything and everyone, while deep down they suffer an intense fear of being judged as negatively as they judge other people. And they're not creative. Scenesters dress in a mish-mash of fashions stolen from various periods throughout history. Every single piece of their attire is a derivative from a former fasion era. And if that wasn't enough, I've recently made the discovery that their disaffected attitude and absolute refusal to look at the camera while having their picture taken is a rip-off as well. From saints in the 14th century.

Don't believe me? I have proof:

















See? The same.

All scenester images taken from the website of that hallowed scenester mecca, Club Bang.

By the way, have you guys heard the new album from Petulant Oyster Halo? It's, like, so totally great.
[4]  post comment

Caption Contest. [13 Jun 2004|01:06am]

captainhaddock


Personally, I think the Brain Bug resembles a giant vagina. With eyes.
[2]  post comment

Pr0pz to Mike. [09 Jun 2004|10:50pm]

captainhaddock
OMG ITS MY NEWEST SURVEYCollapse )

Them Japanese are some fucked up peepz.
[1]  post comment

nippleface [09 Jun 2004|01:16am]

bobbola
hey guys, i found something that rivals my icon!!

[6]  post comment

True story [08 Jun 2004|11:42am]

pdanielson
Pal allegedly prostituted retarted teen:


"Brockton authorities have uncovered a disturbing junior high hooker ring in which a mildly retarded 13-year-old girl allegedly was pimped out by her best friend for as little as $5, sources told the Herald.

The eighth-grader, a developmentally delayed foster child, allegedly has been performing sex acts on junior high and high school students behind a bank and a supermarket, some of which may have been caught on surveillance videos. The girl's best friend, who is also an eighth-grade girl, allegedly set up the trysts, charging between $5 and $30, and pocketed all of the money, according to a source.

'The girl who set it up - who was supposedly her friend - never gave her any money,' the source said.

The case came to light last week when two other eighth-grade girls told school officials the junior high madame tried to persuade them to go to work for her.

Authorities believe the prostitution has been going on since April and involves as many as 20 boys. One alleged john, an 18-year-old Brockton High School student, could face criminal charges for allegedly assaulting the girl, the source said."


Now, see, why should this girl face criminal charges? This is just good, old-fashioned American ingenuity and entrepreneurship. I mean, if the authorities would just get out of the way and let this pimp do her thing, just imagine where she could go in a few years. She could build her empire and set up a pimp ride like this:



And it's not like she wasn't providing a valuable service to the rest of the schoolkids. I mean, what middle school or high school-aged male wouldn't want a bangin' tard piece of ass like this (and for as low as $5!!!) at their disposal:



This girl already has the proper make-up technique down. And they have the nerve to call these people "challenged"...



Ok, this one's a little young, but you try and tell me she doesn't scream "potential"...



If this girl's face isn't made for bukkake, then I don't know whose is...



Not to mention the fact that this is a blatant form of discrimination against 'tards and the rest of the disabled community. If being retarted and stuck in a wheelchair can't keep these "Winners on Wheels" from having a great fucking time playing a game of basketball:



then who's to say that hot 'tard chicks can't suck and fuck just as well as your average street-walkin' ho? Facing criminal charges? Bullshit, I say.

Instead of being prosecuted, I say this she-pimp should be celebrated for bringing innovation and hot 'tard sex to her fellow students in these troubled times of the harsh Bush economy. I, for one, give her the Official 'Tard Thumbs-Up®:

[8]  post comment

[01 Jun 2004|04:30pm]

captainhaddock
I have no idea how she found her way in here, or why she felt compelled to soil our collective eyes with those pictures and those links and her overall lack of regard for grammatical correctness, but I assure you that pinkfae222 is hereby stripped of her posting access.

End.
[3]  post comment

Rectal Trauma, yum yum [02 Jun 2004|01:00pm]

earthsinger
[ mood | cynical ]

RECTAL TRAUMA
Rectal trauma is a relatively uncommon problem that usual results from impalement (such as on a spike or pole) or as a result of sexual-social injuries (such as fist fornication "fisting" or insertion of foreign bodies.) Whatever the cause, severe and permanent damage to the muscles and nerve fibers may occur as a result of the trauma. Serious infection due to contamination of the blood and surrounding tissue with stool is also a relatively common complication and often leads to excessive scar formation which can make "normal" bowel movements and defication difficult if not impossible.


This shows the perineal area of a girl who suffered severe trauma after getting impaled on a bedpost while jumping in bed. This damage required hours of surgical correction in the operating room (where this photo was taken).


Foreign bodies inserted into the rectum to enhance sexual stimulation are also a common cause of trauma and rectal injuries. The x-ray to your right shows an object that got stuck in the rectum of a man. Can you identify the object? Can you guess what happened that brought him to the emergency room?

The most common objects requiring extraction include lightbulbs, pens & pencils, candles, vibrators, and bottles. Unfortunately, removal of foreign bodies is usually much more difficult - and much less enjoyable - than their insertion, since many objects do not remain in their original form.

[6]  post comment

[01 Jun 2004|12:52am]

pinkfae222
[ mood | high ]

what the fuck is this place? Nick.. what have you done? This place gives me teh creeps... yet... i want to know what other sic shit goes on in here. Ack that cat dying and that egg infested boob ... going to vomit...
such a typical nick community

[4]  post comment

Total boner killer [30 May 2004|02:48pm]

pdanielson
I'm surprised any of us were ever conceived. I say this because, after stumbling upon some vintage porn photos, I have to say that sex in the old days looks boring as fuck, and all the people were incredibly ugly:




I mean, no wonder this guy is still limp. Would you be able to get it up for this homely wench? I don't think so.



This is definitely not hard-ridin'-hot-cock excitement. Even if they did have to hold still for a long period of time due to primitive photo technology, five dollars says there wasn't a whole lot of labia-pounding action before or after this shot was taken.



I don't even know what the fuck is going on in this picture.



And then there's this guy. He's tagging some chick doggystyle while she has her face buried in some other girl's box. But to see the expression on his face, you'd think he'd fallen asleep in the middle of a church sermon. Could sex have possibly been that bad back then?


It doesn't get much better as we progress on into the next generation:




I mean, just look at this chick. She can't even flash her pubes without becoming modestly embarrassed. This doesn't even compare to the gaping gash action you see on today's myriad pornographic websites.



I guess if I came home from work to find this chick kneeling in front of my fireplace, I'd probably hit it.

But in general, wtf? How did older people ever get it on when sex was that bland and full of ugly? In the context of my last post about Max Hardcore, it's obvious that we've come a long way...
[6]  post comment

[30 May 2004|11:55am]

kittumkatzum
[7]  post comment

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