Capitalism! Fuck yeah!!! (pdanielson) wrote in gods_of_lj,
Capitalism! Fuck yeah!!!

Total boner killer

I'm surprised any of us were ever conceived. I say this because, after stumbling upon some vintage porn photos, I have to say that sex in the old days looks boring as fuck, and all the people were incredibly ugly:

I mean, no wonder this guy is still limp. Would you be able to get it up for this homely wench? I don't think so.

This is definitely not hard-ridin'-hot-cock excitement. Even if they did have to hold still for a long period of time due to primitive photo technology, five dollars says there wasn't a whole lot of labia-pounding action before or after this shot was taken.

I don't even know what the fuck is going on in this picture.

And then there's this guy. He's tagging some chick doggystyle while she has her face buried in some other girl's box. But to see the expression on his face, you'd think he'd fallen asleep in the middle of a church sermon. Could sex have possibly been that bad back then?

It doesn't get much better as we progress on into the next generation:

I mean, just look at this chick. She can't even flash her pubes without becoming modestly embarrassed. This doesn't even compare to the gaping gash action you see on today's myriad pornographic websites.

I guess if I came home from work to find this chick kneeling in front of my fireplace, I'd probably hit it.

But in general, wtf? How did older people ever get it on when sex was that bland and full of ugly? In the context of my last post about Max Hardcore, it's obvious that we've come a long way...
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